Tips for Managing Your Anger

How can anger affect me?

Everyone feels angry from time to time. It is okay and normal to feel angry. However, the way that you behave or react to anger can make it a problem. If you react too strongly to anger or you cannot control your anger, that can cause relationships problems at home and work.

Anger can also affect your health. Uncontrolled anger increases your risk of heart disease. When you are angry, your heart rate and blood pressure rise. Levels of certain energy hormones, such as adrenaline, also increase. When this happens, your heart has to work harder. In extreme cases, anger can cause the blood vessels to become narrow. This reduces the supply of blood and oxygen to the heart, and that can trigger chest pain (angina).

Anger can also trigger stress-related problems, such as:

• Headaches.
• Poor digestion.
• Trouble sleeping (insomnia).

What actions can be taken?

You can take actions to help you manage your anger. For example:

• Express your anger. When you express your anger in a healthy way, it is a form of communication. The following strategies can help you to express your anger in a healthy way and when you are ready to do so:
  • Step away. When you are feeling reactive, it may take at least 20 minutes for your body to return to its normal blood pressure and heart rate. To help your body do this, take a walk, listen to music, stretch, take deep breaths, and avoid the situation or person who is making you angry. Try to only discuss your anger when you feel calm again.
  • Try to consider how others feel before you react. Avoid swearing, sighing, raising your voice, or blaming.
  • Choose a good time to work through problems. You may be more likely to lose your temper at the end of the day when you are tired.
  • Keep an anger journal. Writing down the situations that make you angry can help you figure out what triggers your anger and why.
• Consider changing your perception. Is there another way you can view the situation that will leave you with a different emotion? Sometimes, changing the way you think about a situation can make it seem less infuriating. Here are some ways to do that:
  • Remind yourself that everyone is not out to get you.
  • Remind yourself that a disappointing result is not the end of the world.
  • Take steps to solve or prevent the situation that upsets you.
  • Find the humor in an aggravating situation.
  • Deal with the physical effects by taking deep breaths, exercising, or taking a walk.
  • Slowly repeat the word “relax” or another calming phrase.
  • Picture a relaxing image in your mind. Close your eyes and use that image to help you calm yourself.

Why are these changes important?

Anger becomes a problem if it occurs frequently and lasts for long periods of time. You may also need help managing your anger if:

• You use physical force or aggression when you are angry and others feel threatened and fearful.
• You feel that your anger is out of control.
• Anger is interfering with your job.
• Anger is causing problems with your health.
• Anger is causing problems with your relationships.
• Anger is affecting your ability to tolerate normal daily situations, such as sitting in a traffic jam or waiting in line.
• You treat others disrespectfully.
• You do not trust people around you.

It may help to ask someone you trust whether he or she thinks you show any of these signs. Sometimes, it can be hard to recognize the problem yourself.

Where to find support

A psychologist or another licensed mental health professional can help you learn how to manage your anger. Ask your health care provider for a referral, or look online to find a psychologist who specializes in anger management. You can search the websites of many mental health organizations to find a mental health care provider. Local Domestic Abuse Projects are also available for help.

Your local hospital or behavioral counselors in your area may also offer anger management programs or support groups that can help.

Seek Additional Information

• The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: www.cdc.gov/bam/life/getting-along3.html
• American Psychological Association: www.apa.org/topics/anger/
• The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: http://www.samhsa.gov/samhsaNewsLetter/Volume_22_Number_3/working_with_anger/
• National Resource Center on Domestic Violence: http://www.nrcdv.org/dvam/